One of my classes is called “Creating a different future and relationship with money”. Last week we had this class taking place in 6 very different countries at same time; and I can tell you that: whatever the culture, if money could talk as a “friend”, it would say that it has been waiting for a long time to be acknowledged for what it can be and what it can create with us… Are you willing to have a new friend who could truly have your back?
Whatever your situation is with money, whether you have a lot or little, whether you have the point of view that you need more or that you have so much that you don’t know what to do with it, you build a “relationship” with money, and the quality of this relationship defines what you create with your life. So, what else are you willing to create in your life?
Your relationship with money
You certainly have noticed that the quality of your interactions with people defines the quality of your personal, social and professional experience… That is what I call the Relational Quality, acknowledging that the position we choose and take in front of one or several persons creates the reality that we’ll have to share with those persons. And obviously, there’s no reality that we could make on our own, ever. So, we can choose our reality as much as we consider others. And what if we don’t? We may get manipulated by the emotional and cognitive intensity of others’ realities, and slowly but surely, we become the object of conditions we didn’t “choose”, and would have never chosen! Is that what happens with money? Have you created the conditions you desire with it? Have you acknowledged what money truly mean for you and what you can do with it?
Considering relationships, the ground for their quality and durability are genuine interest and the capacity to Ask and Listen. Have you ever genuinely asked and listened to Money? You can choose to have a different “conversation” with money. You’d be surprised…
Judgments on money
If someone who you believe to be your friend starts to judge you, will you change your mind about him or her? You’d better. Real friends are not those who judge you, they are precisely those who don’t judge you; and that’s why they are your friends! Whatever you do, whatever you choose, they have your back. Even if they have totally different points of view from yours, they are still there for you, supportive. That’s what you want to create as a friendship. That’s also what you want to create as a relationship with money. Have you ever considered money as one of your best friends? If you did, what new possibilities would you get in your life?
Unfortunately, money is where we have stored the biggest amount of judgments on ourselves and others (together with sex). Maybe because so many people never really knew how to use money other than creating more trouble in this world. But do you really have to follow that? Did you judge yourself for having too much money? Or did you have so many judgments on money to keep yourself from never having enough? What if you would take a totally different point of view on money? What if this society has maintained so many judgments on money to make sure that you never create the life that you truly desire? Wouldn’t it be totally different from the life you’re “supposed” to have? What do you truly wish from your life? Have you chosen a “relationship” with money that support this wish?
The capacity to ask and receive
A relationship is made of communication, and communication is made of listening, reflecting and expressing. Listening is related to perceiving; which is in turn very much related with receiving. As we believe we know how to listen, we somehow believe we know as well how to receive. Well, we somehow fool ourselves. If we knew how to receive, we would have no more trouble ever, no more things we lack either (let’s talk about that next time). The good point here is that we are built for receiving. Receiving is our prima materia, it is what our body is done for, biologically constituted for. Even our peace of mind depends on it. How many days would you survive in a box isolated from everyone and everything? Better still, we can receive from everything; as everything is energy. The only thing that kept us from doing that (and in turn from having more money), is the point of view that this energy was sometimes good, sometimes bad. From there, we closed our true capacity to receive and in turn have more, do more and be more. That is what judgment does, closing possibilities. So, though we are made for receiving, we still have to choose it. You have to be willing to receive more if you are willing to have more money. Money is energy, as everything else on this planet. When you choose to receive from the Earth, when you choose to receive from others, even (and even more) if you allow their judgments on you to pass through you, you get much more money.
“Ask and you shall receive”… This wonderful effective statement from the Bible actually implies two things that we very rarely learn how to do. We’ve rather learned how to complain about how we never have what we deserve or desire. But have we really asked for what we deserve and desire? Asking is not that obvious you know, asking is actually an art*. In conversation, for instance, a question can either be intrusive, aggressive and conclusive, or it can be the opening of acknowledgement, gratitude and possibilities. It depends on the point of view you take. What is the difference? Either you want to listen (receive) or you don’t. That’s the difference. Now, if you don’t ask, how would you ever receive? Unfortunately, asking is one of those things that have often been labelled as “bad” at… “Don’t ask! it will disturb!” No, it won’t! On the contrary, if you know how to do it, that will facilitate things and make them easier. But you don’t want to get things easier, do you? And you surely you don’t want to receive more either… Do you?
More money for what?
Now you are maybe wondering why you should have more money, after all. As Gary Douglas** says, “Money is what you can use to change people’s reality” (Advanced How to Become Money Workbook). If you wanted or had to change things and make them better for you and for others, would it be easier with money or without? What life are you willing to create for yourself? And have you noticed that you can’t be happy alone? So, how happier would you be, if you could also change others’ lives? Anyway, most people don’t want to be happy; I mean they think they want it, yet they don’t choose to do so. And happiness is a choice.
Funny enough, in this society we hold dearly to the goodness of giving, much less to receiving. When we love someone, we want to give everything to that person, when we want to be useful to others, we try our best to give them as much as possible. Great. As long as we don’t “give up” on ourselves…! Question: When did we choose to receive from those people we cherish? What if being received was what they actually longed and wished for the most? How many of them and their belongings are do we refusing to receive, that if we would choose to receive, would make everything so easier for everyone? What if it was the same with money? How much are we avoiding to receive to make sure we don’t get the chance to change anything we wish to change? We are designers of our realities, is now the time to acknowledge and enjoy it?
Money comes from joy, joy doesn’t come from money
Imagine that one day you have chosen not to allow yourself to have too much joy, because you were worrying about the common sense of sadness so dearly shared, and about how you would disturb others (or how much you would be judged by them) if you had to much joy for yourself (forgetting that joy is transmittable). According to that point of view – totally imaginary of course – if you avoided true joy in your life, thinking that it was an external sign of having money and that you would be judged for it, you missed it; it doesn’t work that way. But if you avoided true joy in your life, thinking that it would invite too much money, and that you would be judged for it, then you were right; that is what would happen! Now, how much money are you willing to have, and how much are you willing to be judged for it (which if you allow it, would in turn grant you even more money)? When you choose to have and be the joy (because it is a choice), you start to receive more, and money is part of that “more”. Are you willing to have more? Are you willing to have a new friend who will truly have your back? This also is a choice; you can choose not to have money as your friend; you can choose not to like money, and maybe you did. And surely that’s why you then have difficulties with money. Remember that if you have difficulties with money, that’s because you don’t like money.
Gratitude creates money
So, what is limiting your capacity to have more money? You. Your choices. Money is there, money is everywhere, it just waiting for you to ask for it and receive it. It is waiting for you to choose the point of view from which you don’t lack anything, because you are part of everything, and because you can receive from everything. How many judgments do you have on you that keeps money away from you? Are you willing to let all of that go now? What if you were grateful for you rather than judge you? What if you acknowledged all the things you have created to remain alive in this world that has not yet really recognised who you truly are? Did you take this world’s point of view to abuse your reality? Did you judge yourself because you are different? Would you now choose to make that difference your best asset, and create for your life what you have always known to be possible?
Gratitude creates money. Be grateful for everything you receive, and for everything that pleases you, nurtures you. Because somehow, someday, you asked for that, created that. So, be grateful for you, creator of magnitude. This is the point of view I invite you to take if you are willing to make true peace with money (and all your judgments at the same time). This is the point of view I invite you to take if you are willing to have money, more money, and create the reality you wish to live in. Your point of view creates your reality; What reality do you choose to design now?
Ivan Martin, Coach & Reality Designer, accessivanmartin.com
* Beyond Relational Order® Class / Haute Couture of Communication® Class (Ivan Martin)
** Best-selling author, international speaker, and Founder of Access Consciousness®